My son left for Japan today...not just for a visit, but to live in Tokyo, teaching English. Jesse studied Japanese for six years, and received a dual degree last year from San Francisco State University, in Comparative Literature and Japanese. But his love of Japan goes back to his childhood, and it's exciting that he'll finally be able to live there. I remember taking him to Japantown in San Francisco when he was about 8 years old: little did we know that his fascination with the Japanese culture and language would become a lifelong journey.
Of course, my excitement for him is tempered with sadness, knowing he'll be so far away, and for the first time in his life, won't be home for the holidays. I'm hoping to visit him next spring, but that seems like forever right now. Jesse's lived away from home since 1998; first to Georgia for 2 years, then six more years in San Francisco, so I'm used to him living far away. But 6000 miles and 15 hours of flight time is far more than traveling across country for our visits. And for nine of the past twelve months, Jesse has lived at home, giving me the chance to get used to having him around again.
Last fall he was in Japan for three months, hoping to find a job, but returned disheartened in December when nothing panned out. Still, he didn't give up. In February, he traveled to Toronto to interview with three companies that hire English teachers for placement in Japan, and landed several job offers from that effort. He held out until he got the placement he wanted, in Tokyo. From his travels last fall, he decided that's where he'd most like to live and work. Now, nearly five months after his interviews, he's on his way to that job. But he's really been in limbo this past year, waiting for the chance to live out his dream.
It's not an easy thing to watch our children leave home, at any age. But it's far better to let them try their own wings, instead of tethering them close to home, on the premise that it will keep them safe from harm. I'm proud that Jesse has the courage to expand his world and go after his dreams, wherever they may take him.
Having my son at home for most of the past year has been an unexpected blessing, giving us the chance to share our lives in a way that hasn't been possible since he left home at the age of 18. We developed a pleasant camraderie in our household, and I found him a grounding influence for me, reflecting many qualities that I like about myself: a passion for reading and learning, a love of nature, kindness to others, an open view of the world, a tolerance for diversity, similar tastes in movies, food, and travel. So in many ways, I guess you might say that he's his mother's son. He even found employment at a publishing company where I once worked for many years, and made a big impression in the short time he was there. Jesse's presence and his focus on his dream of living in Japan helped to mobilize me to consider my own desire to learn another language and culture, which has since blossomed into a love of Italy and the Italian language, taking me 6000 miles in another direction.
So, even though it's hard to let go, we can greatly benefit from our children's unique choices and journeys. In the words of William Blake: "No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings."
So, sayonara, sensei son...may you find a world of treasures in this new adventure. In your leaving I am learning more about the art of letting go.
No comments:
Post a Comment